the land I love.

This morning, I miss Thailand so much. I miss waking up in the country I love. I miss doing life with the people I love. I miss building relationships with them in hopes they would gain the best Relationship. I miss the sights and the sounds. The mountains, clouds, rainfalls, fires as the farmers burn their fields in such hope for the next harvest. The motorcycles next to me at the traffic light waiting for the green light. The crowds at the market, the bargaining with vendors, the greetings and smiles. The beautiful Thai language filling my ears. The smell. The food. The culture. The people. The land. God bless Thailand.

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it is well.

again, my soul is letting go.

and this morning, my soul is saying that it is well.

You are the Lord over all my seasons.

hope.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

And here I am again…surrendered, broken, uncertain, scared.

My heart and hands are open.

Fill me with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit I may abound in hope…in all places and in all times.

You’re leading me. I’m following you. In faith and in hope. In joy and peace.

Thank You, Jesus.

held.

This has been the song I’ve sung the most while on the field. It has brought comfort and peace countless times.

A m-worker visiting from China shared it with me a few months after I arrived in Thailand. And another m-worker shared it with her years ago when she was living alone in the Middle East.

I remember when we first sang it in my kitchen. I remember how sweet it was to my soul. The song called out so precisely the words that were scattered in my heart. I remember how uplifting it was to sing with other m-workers. I remember how just moments before we shared with each other the struggles of being on the field. And I remember how we cried out to God in song and in prayer.

As this song yet again ministers to me tonight…I remember all the men, women, and children who do life among the unreached for Jesus. May they know that they are held, today and everyday.

Missionaries, you are loved. Praying this song over you.

You.

You hold me and You comfort me. 

So let go my soul, and trust in Him.
It is well with my soul.
Through it all.

My eyes are on You.

It is well with me.

find rest.

Praying for you.

I pray for peace, for the shalom of Jesus to fill your land.

I pray for your leaders to be good, to be just men and women.

I pray this would be a time where Jesus will be revealed to you and known by you.

I pray that the Church would see you and would stand in the gap for you.

Matthew 11:28-30.

May you be the land of the free, in Jesus’ name.

 

my Good Shepherd, take my hand and lead me on.

shakings.

A few weeks ago, I was in my first earthquake. I was so afraid. There were many elements of the shaking that made it scary. I was in my condo and I don’t trust the buildings here. I was alone and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should stay inside or go out. For many reasons, it was frightening. But perhaps the most frightening thing was seeing how much fear I had. I had no control, no understanding, no directions, no one else…and I was scared. 

After the shakings stopped, I was left broken. I saw me in my raw state. I saw how I lacked trust in God. I saw how I was so desperate to seek shelter and safety elsewhere…not in Him. The earthquake, so much more than physical, shook me to the core. 

It’s so easy to sing songs and confess to Him with words about surrender, abandonment, trust. But in those raw moments, sometimes it’s much more difficult to whole-heartedly surrender…for abandonment to be the natural response. 

Twas sobering to learn this about myself and see how much more I need to grow. 

Always learning, always growing. 

Sometimes, the shakings are good. 

Sometimes, the shakings must take place to show the greater that’s to come.