For the past 5 days, I’ve been really sick. I’m thankful for the Lord’s healing hand and for the recovery He’s bringing. Some kind of bacteria had infected me. Throughout my trips to Thailand and pretty much my first few months here, I had lots of sickness. From Swine Flu to Pneumonia, Bronchitis to Severe Sinus Infections, from Food Poisoning to Stomach Flu…it seems that my body does not do well in Thailand. Or it’s actually moreso that someone really doesn’t want me here to be strong, healthy, and thriving.
Being sick is hard but being alone while sick is harder. It’s in those times of utter weakness- physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually…where one feels so hopeless. The temptation to just give up and go home is so real. It’s such an option. It’s so easy. I could easily pull out and go back home. I could be home with family. I could be comfortable. I could be surrounded by loved ones. I could be taken care of. I could be looked after. I could be loved on. The temptation is so strong. If I was home, I could easily get the right medicine without worrying about its contents. I could know where to go for medical help. I could know that my family would take care of me because they’re family. I could ask my sister to bring me water. I could ask my brother to buy gatorade. I could call out to my mom in the middle of the night and ask her to just sit next to me. I could ask my dad to buy medicine. So many options. So much ease.
Funny thing is that right before I got sick, a friend sent a video reminding me to not stop, to not give up. Those words just kept ringing in my mind of weakness.
The funnier thing is that I didn’t have to lie or hide my weakness from Jesus. But He just met me where I am. He is not dismayed or frustrated with my weakness. He shows compassion and mercy. He gives me grace. And more grace. and more.
How true it is that Jesus never fails me.